Biden Vies For An Emmy

Posted on Sun 03/21/2021 by


By Burt Prelutsky ~

Someone should have caught Biden’s “We’ve never had a problem like this in a long time” before it went out live.

The best thing about Biden’s half-hour address is that it was short. The worst thing was Biden’s performance. I’m sure that after seeing how easy it was for Andrew Cuomo to pick up an Emmy, the President decided to give it a shot. He hit all the obvious marks, showing empathy for all of those who have died or lost loved ones to the Chinese virus. He gave a shout-out to all of those who have done their part to fight the disease and to those who have brought out the vaccines in record time, while managing to ignore the one man most responsible for making certain the process didn’t take the usual three to five years, Mr. Warp Speed himself, Donald J. Trump.

The biggest problem with the performance was the result of bad casting. The same script would have been so much more effective if it had been delivered by Bill Clinton. It’s not that the sex fiend was more tender-hearted than the crime boss, but he could make his lip quiver and his voice crack at a moment’s notice, leading the unsuspecting to believe he really did feel their pain.

Since the address was scripted and Biden got to use a Teleprompter, there were no glaring gaffes. But certainly, someone should have caught Biden’s “We’ve never had a problem like this in a long time” before it went out live.

I suspect most people will see their $1400 as a windfall and assume that Biden walks on water, not recognizing that the money is a partial refund of their own money returning to them in the form of a bribe.

Just prior to his state of the virus speech Biden made a couple of major military decisions. No doubt with input from the left-wing brass at the Pentagon, Biden, in an attempt to swell the ranks of trannies in the military, announced that your tax dollars would be used to pay for sex change operations.

If that doesn’t lead to a surge of enlistments among the perpetually confused, I don’t know what will.

Biden also bragged about updating uniforms for the ladies in the military, including re-designing maternity flight suits. Until he’d mentioned it, I had no idea that we were sending women seven or eight months pregnant into combat.

I’m not sure if Biden, his admirals and generals, are preparing to duke it out with China or simply to disarm them with our comical antics.

Speaking of our military, we presently have 2,500 troops in Kabul to deal with the Taliban, whereas we have 5,000 deployed in Washington, D.C., to deal with Trump supporters.

That should give everyone a pretty good idea of how this administration views the terrorist threat.

I finally have something good to say for the lockdown. Because my driver’s license expired on my birthday, I looked into renewing it and discovered I could handle it on the computer.

The other day, I received the new one (expires 01/05/26). No standing in line at the DMV. No need to remember how many feet behind the car in front of me I have to be if it’s snowing, and I happen to be driving an 18-wheeler in North Dakota. No driving tests, no wondering if I use my turn signal if I also have to stick my arm out the window.

On the other hand, I think they should provide a sticker for my windshield, so that other drivers will know I’m in my 80s and I haven’t been tested since 2017.

I also think a similar label would be a good idea for members of favored minority groups who graduate from Yale, Harvard and Princeton, with degrees in medicine, law and science.

In the latest outbreak of terminal wokeness, the Grace Church School of New York City is discouraging its students from using the words “mom” and “dad.” The problem, as they see it, is that it makes assumptions about the children’s homes. I’d have thought they would only object if the two words were used in conjunction. After all, if the kids lived in same-sex households, I can’t imagine the word police would object to Billy referring to his two moms or to little Sally mentioning her two dads.

The school authorities would prefer the students refer to “grown-ups,” “adults,” “folks” or “guardians.”

I wonder if they would object to one of their charges referring to “mom and one of those four dudes hanging around outside the barbershop”?

After I listed the 20 Republican who joined the Democrats in confirming Merrick Garland to be Biden’s Attorney General, I heard from Howard Last, the toast of Cheyenne, Wyoming. He wrote “Several did not surprise me at all. They would be Collins, Graham, Grassley, McConnell, Murkowski and Romney. One more reason to detest RINO’s as much or more than Democrats.”

As I have in the past, I tried to point out that the voters who elect people like Murkowski, McConnell and Romney, are not about to turn around and vote for Conservatives. Republicans in name only are the only kind of Republicans that can hope to be elected in many places.

“You should be grateful that these politicians see some advantage in having an ® after their name. But you’re not the only person who wants to see them drummed out of the party. So do Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi. Without the RINO’s, they would have super majorities in both houses and could do absolutely anything they liked.”

Every so often, someone compliments me on my bravery just for writing things that a great many people are thinking.

I’m really no braver than the next guy. The difference is that, unlike him, I don’t have to worry about being de-platformed, censored or fired.

I’m impervious to all the weapons at the disposal of the cancel culturalists.

When it comes to human nature, I think I am fairly adept at deciphering the more obvious signs.

But there is something I have been unable to figure out and because it keeps happening, I’m hoping one of you can provide an explanation.

My subscription list stays pretty stable for the entire year. Once in a while, a new person who’s been receiving the articles from a friend decides to stop being a freeloader and signs up. Once in a while, a subscriber dies, and I only find out about it when the articles start bouncing back.

Perhaps once a year, someone will get annoyed with something I’ve written or with me and cancel his subscription.

But most of my new subscribers used to come to me from the Patriot Post. The Post runs two of my pieces every week, and when people discovered I wrote five others, they would sign up.

But over the past few months, at least 10 people have contacted me. I let them know the suggested price (prorated of course) and also the actual price, which is whatever they can comfortably afford.

And not one of them has gotten back to me to ask where to mail their check.

Furthermore, when I follow up by asking if I should assume they’ve lost interest, they don’t reply.

Why would people who were interested enough to contact me fail to follow up after I explain that they get to determine the price?

I received an email from a very troubled reader. It was as close to a suicide note as I ever hope to see. The person was not only troubled by the actions of Joe Biden, but by the hate she saw in the eyes of friends and relatives. She feels, as she wrote, “Like I’ve entered the Twilight Zone.”

I felt as if I was auditioning to work at a Suicide Prevention Hotline. Not having any experience at it, the best I could do was suggest: “Nobody’s life remains the same. Not even this nation’s. Sometimes things improve for a while, as they did under Reagan and Trump, and sometimes things get worse, as they did under Obama and will under Biden.

“You just have to ride it out as best you can and to focus on how to improve your own life and the lives of those you love.

“You can’t worry yourself sick over everybody because, keep in mind, half of them have it coming.”

Burt Prelutsky is a columnist at The Patriot Post, and is a former humor columnist for the LA Times.

Read more excellent articles at The Patriot Post