Ditzy Dee

Browsing Archives of Author »Dee Davidson«

Joke Of The Day

Fri 03/20/2009

Jigsaw Puzzle John gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy. “I’ve got a problem,” says Buffy. “What’s the matter?” asks John. “Well, I’ve bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it’s too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can’t find any edges.” “What’s the picture of?” asks John. “It’s of a big Rooster,” […]

Drunk Driver – Joke Of The Day

Tue 02/03/2009

A police officer noticed a car swerving all over the road. He stopped the car and asked the driver to get out of his car. “Could you please blow into this breathalyzer.” “I can’t,” replied the man, “I’m asthmatic.” “Could you please give me a urine sample then?” asked the officer. “I can’t do that. […]

Low Flying Drunk – The Darwin Awards

Mon 02/02/2009

2008 Darwin Award Nominee Unconfirmed by Darwin (1996, Canada) Sleeping residents of Chilliwack were awakened early one morning by the sound of a small aircraft flying lower than usual. The engine noise was like a mosquito, zooming too close too quick, then veering away. What the bleep was going on? In the wee hours of […]

Joke Of The Day – Dead Horse

Tue 12/09/2008

Dead horse Young Chuck moved to Montana and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next Day he drove up and said, “Sorry, Son, but I have some bad news, The horse died.” Chuck replied, “Well, then just give me my money back.” […]

Online Divorcee Jailed After Killing Virtual Hubby

Thu 10/23/2008

By Ditzy Dee Now I’ve seen everything!!! By MARI YAMAGUCHI, Associated Press Writer TOKYO – A 43-year-old Japanese piano teacher’s sudden divorce from her online husband in a virtual game world made her so angry that she logged on and killed his digital persona, police said Thursday. The woman, who has been jailed on suspicion […]

Joke for today – The Drunk

Fri 09/19/2008

Roy the Drunk Roy walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk, and staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool and, with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender politely informs Roy that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink, he could […]

Joke Of The Day – The Mistress

Wed 08/06/2008

The Mistress An artist, a lawyer, and a computer scientist are discussing the merits of a mistress. The artist tells of the passion, the thrill which comes with the risk of being discovered…. The lawyer warns of the difficulties. It can lead to guilt, divorce, bankruptcy. Not worth it. Too many problems. The computer scientist […]

Chicken Joke of the Day

Thu 05/22/2008

How Many Chickens? There was this guy from Arkansas named Jethro walking down the road one day when he noticed his friend across the road carrying a bag. Jethro : “Hey Billy Joe what you got in that bag?” Billy Joe: “Got me some chickens.” Jethro : “Chickens! I sure would like chickens. How ’bout […]

Merry Pranksters – The Darwin Awards

Sat 05/10/2008

Merry Pranksters 2008 Darwin Awards Nominee Unconfirmed by Darwin The Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it. The telephone company was replacing above-ground telephone lines with buried lines. In one sparsely populated farming area, if lines crossed a country road they would dig a trench halfway across, so […]

And You Thought You Were Having A Bad Day

Sat 04/26/2008

Guy at a bar There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver […]

Divine Golf (Joke Of The Day)

Fri 04/18/2008

Joke Of The Day Divine Golf Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other […]

Simple Solution

Wed 04/16/2008

Joke of the Day Simple Solution As for what to do with Osama bin Laden: Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release. Therefore, I suggest we do neither. Let the special forces, Seals, or whatever covertly capture him, fly him to […]

Rabid Dogs Are Useful (Joke)

Sun 04/13/2008

Rabid Dogs are Useful One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Bill went up to […]

A Deer Camp Joke

Sun 04/06/2008

Posted by Ditzy Dee Deer Camp The guys were all at deer camp. They had to bunk two to a room. No one wanted to room with Steve because he snored so badly, they decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. […]

The Darwin Awards – Cow-ard

Tue 03/11/2008

Thanks to for the following: The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it… Cow-ard 2007 Darwin Award Nominee Confirmed True by Darwin (19 April 2007, Phnom Penh, Cambodia) Unwanted amorous advances on a heifer resulted in a man’s death at the hooves of the […]

When A Christmas Tree Falls In The Forest . . .

Mon 12/10/2007

When A Christmas Tree Falls In The Forest And Lands On An ACLU Lawyer, Does Anyone Care? Not me. But if I were walking by and he begged for help, what then? Mmmmmmm, Lets see . . . First, Is it really a Christmas tree? Perhaps its a holiday tree, or a Chanukah bush or […]

* BEWARE * the Cow

Sat 06/23/2007

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the meadow. Okay that’s a stretch, but this is a funny video. Hope you enjoy it. Cow Vs. Man (Matrix) A Computer graphics comedy clip composed of many different movie scenes. If the above doesn’t work, please click on the link below. A beautiful […]

Poor Little Pluto

Mon 06/18/2007

Why is everybody picking on Pluto? Poor thing, no longer top dog, down graded not once but twice. You’d think Disney would spring for a personal trainer and a dietitian to get him bulked up. Then maybe he’d be big enough to be upgraded … Uh Oooo ah really? Sorry folks I’ve just been informed […]

Smokehouses going out of business in PA

Wed 06/13/2007

Satire from a new contributor Its a crying shame. The PA legislators are set to put an entire industry out of business. Just think about it …… no PA Smoked hams, bacon, or sausage. The ban on indoor smoking in Pennsylvania will put an end to it all. Lets face it you can’t smoke meats […]