Unsolved Mysteries

Posted on Fri 01/01/2021 by


By Burt Prelutsky ~

How healthy can an economy be if hundreds of thousands of small businesses are closed?

It strikes me that there is something very wrong when, thanks to politicians using the virus to shut down businesses and intentionally derail Trump’s economy, the Stock Market is booming. It actually crashed through the record-setting 30,000 mark recently, when early in the pandemic, it had dropped below 20,000.

How healthy can an economy be if hundreds of thousands of small businesses are closed, many doomed to never re-opening, and it’s mainly only Amazon and the social media giants that are actually making money?

And if things can get that far out of kilter, perhaps it’s time that people, including those on Fox Business, stopped using the Stock Market as a fiscal barometer.

As dumb as the Democrats are, it’s a mistake to think they don’t possess certain skills. One of those is naming things. For instance, they were smart enough to name Obama’s taking control of one-seventh of America’s economy the Affordable Care Act. All some people had to hear was “Affordable,” and millions of people were ready to gobble it up like chocolate pudding.

Or imagine who the genius was who came up with “mandatory buy back” to camouflage gun confiscation. That’s what the “mandatory” part means, even though they try to pass it off as a voluntary decision by the legal gun owner.

When the State says: “Sell us the gat at our price or else,” that is not the free market system in action; it’s totalitarianism.


It being that time of year again, I would like to offer a bit of Christmas shopping advice to those of you with children on your list. Don’t give them clothes, not even if you knitted them a scarf with your own loving hands. Kids don’t want clothes, at least boys don’t, even those being passed off as gifts from Santa. And as for those young lads who do want clothes, seek professional help immediately.

Giving a kid an article of clothing for Christmas or Chanukah is like giving your wife a vacuum cleaner for her birthday or a Dust-Buster for your wedding anniversary.

If you really don’t know how to shop for a kid, try the tried-and-true, ever-popular item known as cash.


The other day, I credited John Sarantos with a meme that was actually sent by my good friend and neighbor, John Serata. I had just exchanged an email with Mr. Sarantos, and his name was still lodged in my brain.

Naturally, I don’t blame myself. It’s not my fault they have such similar names.

But what I find interesting is that Mr. Sarantos never let me know about my mistake. It makes me wonder if he’s been strolling around downtown Houston taking credit for my neighbor’s meme.


How is it that babies never poke out their eyes when they flail their little arms and hands around like Nancy Pelosi?


We’ve all been brought up to believe that we had the mightiest military force on the face of the earth. But I’m beginning to suspect that’s no longer the case. And not just because we hear that China now has the largest Navy in the world and is about to overtake us in other areas, not to mention having a two-million man Army.

It just seems to me that we’re no longer very good when it comes to winning wars. We started out defeating the British back when they were the most powerful nation on earth.

Along the way, we defeated Germany twice in a quarter of a century; the second time when they were teamed up with Italy and Japan.

But look at our record over the past 75 years. We fight and hope for ties. It’s bad enough that we couldn’t even win by a TKO in Korea, Vietnam and even Somalia. But even after 19 years, we’re finally pulling out of Afghanistan with our flag at half-mast and our tail between our legs because we couldn’t defeat the Taliban tribesmen.

With a record like that, like Terry Malloy, we’d never be a contender.

It kind of makes you wonder if all those super bombs we have are just for decorative purposes.


Imagine having a nightmare in which you find yourself imprisoned in an insane asylum. Pretty scary.

But the reality is even worse when you realize that over a hundred million of our neighbors had other options in November but still re-elected Adam Schiff, Maxine Waters, Gerald Nadler, Hank Johnson, the women of the Squad, Brad Sherman and Eric Swalwell.

They vote and they are among us. Be afraid. Be very afraid.


Norman Eagle let me know that he has been watching ABC News in Connecticut and that not once, not even briefly, has the network mentioned either the Hunter Biden investigation or the Chinagate scandal swirling around Eric Swalwell.

I suggested that he bundle up and picket outside the ABC studios. “Since it’s an embarrassment to ABC, it’s just possible that CBS and NBC will cover it. It’s one possible way to bring the news to the folks in Connecticut.”


If I were a vocational guidance counselor, I’d be tempted to suggest to a young person that he or she consider a career in crime, even if they were considering pursuing something along the lines of the law, engineering or architecture. Those people are sometimes unemployed. Besides, even when they’ve got a job, they have to abide by other people’s rules about hours, clothing and compensation.

The good thing about being a criminal is that you’re your own boss. You work the hours you want, wear the clothes you choose and you, alone, determine how much money you’re going to make. The more you work, the more you make.

In the past, the only obvious drawback was the risk of being arrested, convicted and being locked up in a little cell, for a great many years. That is no longer a problem.

As you may have noticed, all over the country George Soros is electing district attorneys whose mission is to go after cops and leave criminals alone.

Even when people are arrested these days, they find that the honor system is in play and they are let out on their recognizance without having to bother with bail.

Politicians are using any excuse — overcrowding, the virus, systemic bias against blacks and Latinos in the legal system — to let criminals out of jail.

It wasn’t easy, but between the media, fascistic gangs, the Silicon Valley billionaires and the entire apparatus of the Democratic Party, Americans have been brainwashed to believe that the criminals are the real victims, and that their prey are just a bunch of pampered, privileged, white, whiney babies.


It was Alexander Solzhenitsyn, who as a victim of Soviet tyranny knew what he was talking about, observed: “Let us not forget that violence does not live alone and is not capable of living alone; it is necessarily interwoven with falsehood. Between them lies the most intimate, the deepest of natural bonds. Violence finds its only refuge in falsehood, falsehood its only support in violence. Any man who has once acclaimed violence as his method must inexorably choose falsehood as his principle.”

This past year, we have seen this coupling play out in the streets of America. While the thugs in Antifa and BLM burned and looted and killed, their collaborators in the media assured us what we were seeing were peaceful demonstrations being conducted against another of their lies, a fantasy they cooked up called systemic racism.


I was just thinking, how is it that Nancy Pelosi never pokes out an eye when she flails her little arms and hands around like a baby?

Burt Prelutsky is a columnist at The Patriot Post, and is a former humor columnist for the LA Times.

Read more excellent articles at The Patriot Post