I’m Not Guilty!

Posted on Fri 11/09/2018 by


By Burt Prelutsky  ~  
I must confess I had an out of body experience when I first saw the manila envelopes in which the pipe bombs had been delivered. Except for the return address that suggested Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz had been the mailed, they looked just like the bubble mailers I’ve been using to send out the DVDs of “Angels on Tap.” Even the six Forever stamps were the same ones I use.

Whenever you add to all that the fact the packages were sent to people I despise, including the Clintons, the Obamas, Eric Holder, Maxine Waters, Joe Biden, George Soros and Robert De Niro, I was half surprised that the FBI didn’t come knocking at my door.

It’s not that I would have been worried. As anyone who knows me would have testified, I not only wouldn’t know how to begin to construct a pipe bomb, but I would have slathered on a whole lot more postage. I mean, how is it possible that an iron pipe would cost the same price to mail as a little DVD?

One good thing that came of it is that I learned that George Soros lives in Katonah, New York. After I found that out, it was child’s play to find out his address is 136 Cantitoe Street, Katonah, NY 10536-3804.

It seems that he purchased the place from the late Michael Crichton for slightly more than $21 million. It seems very appropriate that the old dinosaur now lives in the home of the man who wrote “Jurassic Park.”

Once I had the man’s address, I felt compelled to write him a letter.

“Dear Mr. Soros,” I began, “you are not only an extremely mysterious figure, you remain one of the world’s great enigmas.

“As a teenager, you saw the German socialists (aka Nazis) murder your relatives, friends and neighbors, and yet here you are, all these decades later, promoting socialism in all corners of the globe.

“Although you have prospered in America and owe your fortune to capitalism, you and your sons apparently disapprove of both the country and its economic system. You are certainly entitled to bite the hands that have fed you awfully well, but I would love to know why.

“In my Russian-Jewish family, we had two kinds of leftists. We had the self-indulgent sort who had made a killing on the black market during World War II and we had the others, those who barely eked out a living as low-paid cutters and sewers in the garment industry. I understood the politics of the latter group because it was the communist-led unions that had improved working conditions in the sweat shops. I never did understand the others.

“I once pointed out to my wealthy uncle Al that if the revolution he kept calling for ever took place, the communists would probably have him in front of a firing squad even before they got to the Rockefellers. After all, he had been a black marketeer and was an absentee landlord and a wealthy capitalist living off his stock dividends. Red meat, as it were, for the Reds.

“Frankly, I never understood him and his contempt for this country, and I certainly don’t understand you.

“I would very much appreciate your taking a minute to explain why, instead of sitting back and enjoying yourself, donating to good causes such as stamping out childhood leukemia and Alzheimer’s, you prefer to spend your billions subsidizing Antifa, Black Lives Matter and presidential campaigns for the tawdry likes of Al Gore, John Kerry, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Sincerely, Burt Prelutsky”

I’ll let you know if he gets back to me.

After I recently complained that all it takes is a hurricane or something like the pipe bomb story to ruin Fox News for at least a day, sometimes two or three, Penny Alfonso let me know that her biggest day-to-day beef with Fox is the repetition. “Especially if Pelosi or Holder or Waters says something egregious. They’ll play it over and over and over. It drives me nuts.”

I let her know that was why I record everything before watching it. It allows me to fast-forward through commercials and all the other verbal debris.“ “Verbal debris. Perfect. That might be the actual cause of global warming.”

“I suspect,” I replied, “you could probably make a bomb out of the stuff, just like the other sort of manure.”

It has always amazed me how reflexively liberals respond to the partisan dog whistles of their party leaders. Pavlov’s dogs could have learned a thing or two from Democrats.

One of the many things that separate conservatives from liberals is the quality of their quotes. Whereas Ronald Reagan said any number of things that are as timely and witty nearly 40 years after the fact, just about the only things I recall hearing from Obama was that the Republicans should shut up, sit down and get out of his way, and that if we liked what we had when it came to health care, we would be able to keep our doctors and our health insurance. The first was rude, the second was a lie.

But when the stuff you’re promoting is rehashed socialism, the same crapola that was being hyped by Eugene Debs, Norman Thomas and Franklin Roosevelt, 80 years ago, it’s not easy to come across as bright and breezy.

On the other hand, consider the following quotes attributed to the late, great economist Milton Friedman:

“If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in five years there’d be a shortage of sand.”

“Many people want the government to protect the consumer. A much more urgent problem is to protect the consumer from the government.”

“The greatest advances of civilization, whether in architecture or painting, in science or literature, in industry or agriculture, have never come from centralized government.”

“Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.”

“Concentrated power is not rendered harmless by the good intentions of those who create it.”

“The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.”

“We have a system that increasingly taxes work and subsidizes non-work.”

“The Great Depression, like most other periods of severe unemployment, was produced by government mismanagement rather than by any inherent instability of the private economy.”

“There’s no such thing as a free lunch.”

I was recently reminded that in 1910, left-wing radicals blew up the L.A. Times building. A century later, left-wing radicals run the place.

Read more Right Opinion at The Patriot Post.