When A Christmas Tree Falls In The Forest . . .

Posted on Mon 12/10/2007 by


Not me.

But if I were walking by and he begged for help, what then?

Mmmmmmm, Lets see . . .

First, Is it really a Christmas tree?
Perhaps its a holiday tree, or a Chanukah bush or what ever?

Then did it really fall or is it just leaning?

Did it mean to fall on him or her?
After all what was the intent of the tree, if it’s real is a tree?

Then of course there is the environmental issues of moving the tree, and the body – natural habitat, food supply and all that.

Maybe the best thing would be to turn and run as *FAR* away as possible.

But in reality I couldn’t just leave him there.
But being who he is I definitely want to protect myself from a lawsuit.

Let’s see …

I’d have to tell him that I need to see my Lawyer first and have him draw up papers absolving me of all liability in case he got hurt in the rescue attempt. That may take a day or two for the paperwork.

Then I would bring the papers back for you to sign.

Oh wait, we would need witnesses. I’d have to get those.

Then there is the matter of my time and travel expenses back and forth and the witnesses expenses. That will have to be spelled out in the legal document.

Oh-oh, I may need to have this notarized.

I’d ask him, ‘Would you be willing to pay for my legal fees, my time and travel expenses and the witnesses, the notary and possibly my lawyer, if he thinks it’s necessary to be present – all their time and expenses?’

If he said yes then we are good to go.

Oops, I forgot, I don’t have a lawyer.
So I have to find one that will be willing to work for a promise that you will pay him/her. That may take a day or two.

So I’ll be back in a couple of days or maybe a week. I hope no bear comes along and eats you in the meantime.

Hmmm … Let’s see … Do you have any cash or credit/debit card that I can use to speed things up a bit?

I’d really hate to do all this work and come back to a bunch of bones. Besides I may not be able to find a lawyer willing to work on your case without some upfront money. Especially with the possibility of the Bear problem.

Okay, see ya soon. I hope.
I’m really bad with directions. I’ll try to mark the trail so I can find my way back.

Let’s see, what can I use? Oh, I know I’ll tear up this tissue and drop pieces on the ground as I go. Or better yet I can crumble up my Trail-mix Bar and drop pieces on the ground.
Yeah! That’ll work.

Toodles, see you when I get back.

Ditzy Dee

[It the title brings a smile to your face you may enjoy stopping by FCBC (For Conservatives By Conservatives) —Ed]

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