Browsing All posts tagged under »Scooter’s Report«

Obama Limits Nuclear Arms Use

April 7, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – President Obama said Monday he is altering American nuclear strategy to clearly define conditions under which the United States would use nuclear weapons. This breaking with a longstanding policy of reserving the right to use overwhelming destructive force against any country that attacks us. Mr. Obama described the […]

Obama: Quit Criticizing Me

April 4, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – President Obama said in an interview with CBS News that people are unfairly lashing out at him, and called on his critics to “turn down the rhetoric.” “Look, the Rush Limbaughs and Glenn Becks can call me a socialist all they want, but nationalizing America’s banks, industries, and […]

Transportation Dept Embraces Bicycles Over Cars

March 28, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood has announced a “major policy revision” that aims to give bicycling and walking far greater economic consideration than driving. “Today I want to announce a sea change,” said LaHood. “This is the end of favoring motorized transportation at the expense of non-motorized.” LaHood’s goal […]

Pelosi Saves Healthcare Reform!

February 27, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi’s statement yesterday at the healthcare summit that the Democrat’s healthcare reform plan will create “four million jobs, 400,000 almost immediately – and not just jobs, but jobs in the entrepreneurial world,” appears to have rescued the legislation. Based on Pelosi’s scientific calculations, […]

Bipartisan Health Summit Live!

February 26, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (Scooter’s Report Live From Blair House Via Blackberry) – This morning a bipartisan group from the House and Senate will sit down with President Obama to discuss the President’s proposed healthcare legislation. I will report this historic event live for the next six hours, followed by commentary and interviews. I […]

Senator: Investigate Global Warming, Waterboard Gore

February 24, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – Senator James Inhofe asked the Obama administration today to investigate the actions of climate scientists revealed by the Climategate Files, and demanded Attorney General Eric Holder find, arrest, and torture Al Gore. “In [Gore’s] science fiction movie, every assertion has been rebutted,” Inhofe said. “This bloviating leftist gas-bag […]

Republicans Support Obama “Save The Senate” Tour

February 17, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – In a bizarre twist, the GOP is donating millions to President Obama’s “Save the Senate” tour, as the President heads west this week to campaign for two embattled Democrats trailing badly against Republican challengers – including Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada. GOP leader Michael Steele said […]

Khamenei: Our Punch Will Stun The World

February 10, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter TEHRAN (SR) – Iranian Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said Monday that his country will deliver a punch that will stun the Western world during this week’s 31st anniversary of the Islamic revolution. “The Iranian nation, with its unity and God’s grace will serve a powerful punch that will leave them […]

Obama To Campaign For Reid, GOP Jubilant

January 22, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – A White House announcement today that President Barack Obama will appear with Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid next month in Las Vegas is prompting jubilant celebration in the GOP, and bitter despair in the Reid campaign. “I have little doubt we can lose horribly on our own, we […]

Pelosi: Law, American Disapproval Won’t Stop Us

January 20, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi on Monday bushed aside concerns that Scott Brown’s Senate victory in Massachusetts would endanger passage of the healthcare bill. “Let’s remove all doubt, we will have healthcare one way or another,” said Pelosi. “We’ve come too far to be deterred by simple laws or […]

White House: Who’s Martha Coakley?

January 17, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter BOSTON (SR) – Massachusetts Democrat Martha Coakley’s campaign is said to be “livid” over President Obama’s refusal to personally help her battle Republican Scott Brown for Ted Kennedy’s vacated Senate seat. “We’re dying here, and what’s Obama doing? Freaking nothing, that’s what. He’s a cowardly little punk,” said one angry Coakley […]

White House Celebrates Obama Accomplishments

January 14, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – The White House website trumpeted President Obama’s successes in his first year in office Tuesday, saying his “steady diplomacy” had made America stronger. Although the achievements listed were mostly broad, generalized statements based on little or no truth (“The global economy has been pulled back from the brink […]

Obama Defines, Defends Transparency

January 8, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – President Barack Obama struck back at the mounting criticism that his administration’s secrecy violates his promise on at least eight separate occasions to televise all important legislative hearings. “I promised the American people that my administration would be absolutely transparent, and it has been,” the President told reporters […]

Dems Plan Secret Talks In Hidden Locations

January 6, 2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter SCOOTER’S REPORT – Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Majority Leader Harry Reid are making plans for a series of secret meetings to merge their respective healthcare bills, despite Barack Obama’s campaign promise of transparency in his administration. According to sources in Pelosi’s office, plans call for Democrats to disguise themselves and meet […]

Harry Reid: I’m Santa This Year

December 20, 2009 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is vowing to “deliver the goods” in passing the Senate health care reform legislation on Christmas Eve. “This Christmas I’m Santa Claus, and me and my elves are bringing every person in America the biggest, most expensive present they’ve ever received,” said Reid […]

Global Warming To Flood San Francisco

December 5, 2009 by


By Scooter Van Neuter SAN FRANCISCO (SR) – California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger unveiled a map Thursday illustrating how his state would be affected by climate change in the future. The map, demonstrating the devastating effects of global warming in just a century, shows how San Francisco Airport would be completely underwater if all the world’s […]

Obama Reassures Base

December 4, 2009 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – Just a day after committing an additional 30,000 troops to the war in Afghanistan, President Obama is moving to quell the resulting outrage from the anti-war left that helped put him into office. “Look, I’m only sending 75% of the number of troops it’d take to actually win, […]

Global Warming Exposed, Al Gore Hiding

November 25, 2009 by


By Scooter Van Neuter (SR) – As the world digests the thousands of emails and documents stolen from Britain’s esteemed East Anglia University’s Climate Research Unit that show global warming is as real as new stimulus jobs, the man who got the whole thing started, Al Gore, is nowhere to be found. Mr. Gore has […]

Holder Defends Needless Trial

November 20, 2009 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – Attorney General Eric Holder gave testimony before Congress Wednesday, defending his decision to bring 9-11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and four co-conspirators to New York for a civil trial. Most questions from the lawmakers centered on why a self-avowed terrorist enemy combatant who has repeatedly admitted responsibility for […]

Democrats Approve Climate Bill

November 6, 2009 by


By Scooter Van Neuter WASHINGTON (SR) – The Senate Environment and Public Works Committee approved a Democratic climate change bill Thursday requiring any industry that can survive to 2020 under the proposed law reduce their greenhouse gas emissions 20 percent, and for the rest who go bankrupt trying, by 100 percent. Republicans on the committee […]

Bad Scary

October 31, 2009 by


Editorial by Scooter Van Neuter (Scooter’s Report) – OK, so it’s Halloween and time for much of the populace to revel in dark and scary things, because I guess raging unemployment, failing wars, skyrocketing foreclosures, and our society’s rapid slide toward atheism and Marxism aren’t scary enough. While I’m personally not into Halloween (I’m a […]

Climate Chief Blasts Farts

October 29, 2009 by


(SR) – Leading authority on global warming, Lord Stern of Brentford, warned that unless there is a dramatic decrease in farting, the earth as we know it is doomed. In an interview with The TImes, Lord Stern said that people will need to turn vegetarian if the world is to conquer climate change, citing the […]

White House Commits To War Effort

October 20, 2009 by


WASHINGTON (SR) – After weeks of what some have called foot-dragging, President Obama has pledged to commit whatever resources are needed to defeat the enemy. In a statement read by White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs to reporters Monday, President Obama said he “could no longer sit idly by as an emboldened and savage foe […]

Al Gore: “Climate Out Of Control”

October 14, 2009 by


NASHVILLE (SR) – Al Gore said Monday that plummeting temperatures worldwide are an indication that our climate has become dangerously unstable. Gore, former Vice President and world’s preeminent climatologist, told shivering reporters outside his frozen Nashville home that “green” practices may have reversed global warming a bit too much. “While I’m relieved we’ve apparently stopped […]