Is God A Republican?

Posted on Sun 10/10/2021 by


By Burt Prelutsky ~

Most of us who look at Joe Biden sitting in the Oval Office would love the chance to ask God why He has forsaken us.

The other day I found myself thinking that because the Left has gained control of so many things (the media; pop culture; academia from kindergarten through grad school; the Washington bureaucracy (the FBI, the CIA, Homeland Security, the IRS); the Pentagon; Congress; healthcare (NIH, WHO); and the White House, it would take an act of God to turn things around.

That reminded me of a joke about a guy caught in the middle of a flood. He finally had to climb on the roof of his house. After a while, a man in a motorboat came by and offered to give him a lift. The guy on the roof thanked him but said “God will provide.”

The waters kept rising. A few hours later, a guy in a rowboat came by and tried to rescue him, but, again, he said he was okay because “God will provide.”

Around midnight, the water rose above the rooftop and washed the man to his death.

The first chance he got, he asked God why he had forsaken him.

God replied: “I didn’t forsake you. I sent a couple of fellows in boats.”

Most of us who look at Joe Biden sitting in the Oval Office would love the chance to ask God why He has forsaken us. I suspect his answer would be “If you recall, I sent Donald Trump.”

It’s hard to know whether to laugh or cry when Biden, Pelosi and Psaki, insist that the 3.5 trillion-dollar piñata will cost zero dollars. What they mean is that it would cost 11 zeros: $3,500,000,000,000.

If the sight of the two four-star generals, Mark Milley and Ken McKenzie, testifying before the congressional committees reminded anyone of rats leaving a sinking ship, they have 20/20 vision.

No sooner were they telling us that Biden lied when he said nobody had advised him to retain 2,500 soldiers in Afghanistan, then they were blowing the whistle on the State Department.

They testified that it was the diplomats who warned against evacuating the American civilians before withdrawing the military. The generals were told that if the civilians went missing, it would send a signal to the Taliban that Afghanistan was ripe for the taking.

You have to wonder what sort of signal was sent when the military left the barbarians an airfield, $85 billion worth of weaponry and at least a hundred potential hostages.

Was it Secretary of State Tony Blinken who decided that the right thing to do was to use American civilians as decoys, and if so why does he still have a job?

Your instincts would tell you that states governed by Republicans would be in better shape financially than those ruled by Democrats, if only because the Covid mandates in red States were far less draconian than in the blue ones.

But you probably would not guess that the differences are as clear cut as they are. It turns out that the 10 states with the lowest unemployment rates all have Republicans at the helm. They are (in order from 1st to 10th): Nebraska, Utah, Idaho, South Dakota, New Hampshire, Vermont, Alabama, Oklahoma, Georgia and Montana.

The states with the highest unemployment rates (again in order): are Nevada, California, New York, New Mexico, New Jersey, Connecticut, Illinois, Hawaii, Pennsylvania and Alaska, with Alaska being the only one of the 10 with a Republican governor.

Speaking of governors, every political junkie has his eyes on the upcoming gubernatorial race in Virginia which pits Glenn Youngkin against Hillary Clinton’s former bagman and the state’s former governor, Terry McAuliffe.

I keep hearing that Virginia is a purple state, but since Virginia keeps electing left-wingers like McAuliffe and Ralph Northam, I’d say a lot of people are colorblind.

I also keep hearing the race is a tossup even though every poll I’ve seen has McAuliffe ahead by almost four points.

The good news is that McAuliffe is almost as stupid as he is corrupt. In the second of two debates with Youngkin, he actually said “Parents shouldn’t tell schools what to teach their kids.”

In case you’ve missed it, parents and school boards in Virginia have been clashing for months over the fact that the teachers are filling the young minds with a lot of crap about white supremacy, foisting Critical Race Theory on little kids whose parents have taught them not to judge people, for better or worse, based on their skin color.

The words were barely out of McAuliffe’s mouth than Youngkin had them in a political commercial.

I have a feeling that after McAuliffe’s unforced fumble, the election might actually be a tossup.

The huge, pork-filled bill that the Democrats are trying to get to Biden’s desk has a provision that calls for fining business owners with a hundred or more employees $700,000 for every unvaccinated worker.

As we’ve seen, it also calls for booting unvaccinated members of the military either out of the service or into the brig.

On top of all that, Biden, in the midst of a pandemic that he keeps describing in increasingly horrific terms, is kicking doctors, nurses and other first responders, out of the healthcare field. Naturally, the Idiot-in-Chief isn’t asking himself or anyone else why those who know the most about Covid and the vaccines are willing to lose their jobs rather than get the shots.

At this time, apparently 83,000 New Yorkers in the healthcare industry are due to be fired, joining 600 United Airline employees who are being let go.

According to the rules, these people will not receive unemployment benefits.

All this calls to mind a meme sent along by Kevin Nolan. It shows a guy on the street holding up a sign that reads: “I don’t need your money yet. I’m just practicing for the day that vaccine mandates take away my job.”

Meanwhile, the Secretary of Homeland Security, a nebbish named Alejandro Mayorkas, who only lies every other day, admitted that 20% of the illegal aliens who have been allowed to enter the country were suffering from Covid or some other contagious disease.

Too bad we’re losing all those healthcare professionals when we have all these new patients streaming into the U.S.

It’s weird to think that Mayorkas is called the head of Homeland Security when he is so obviously the rear end of the agency.

I somehow missed it, but Mark Perry swears that when Hillary Clinton was visiting South Africa, she got so rattled by politically correct nomenclature that she referred to native blacks as “African American Africans.”

Although Mr. Perry has never lied to me before, I can’t personally vouch for the fact that she said it. But I find it so funny, I’m not even going to try to track it down. If Hillary didn’t say it, she should have.

Although I miss his acting, his retirement has freed James Woods to come out of the Hollywood closet and come clean about being a Conservative.

In a recent tweet, he wrote: “America is not divided by race, color, gender or sexual orientation. America is divided into wise people and fools. And fools divide themselves by race, color, gender or sexual orientation.”

Bob Hunt, who beats the Energizer Bunny at his own game and doesn’t require batteries, passed along one of the spookier memes I’ve seen in a while.

It’s a panel of six photos in which Mark Zuckerberg gradually morphs into Jen Psaki.

Come to think of it, you never see the two them at the same time at the same place.

Burt Prelutsky is a columnist at The Patriot Post, and is a former humor columnist for the LA Times.

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