Unmanly Men

Posted on Sun 07/04/2021 by


By Burt Prelutsky ~

So far as I’m concerned, “transgenders” are freaks deeply in need of long-term psychiatric therapy.

If life is anything, it’s unpredictable. For instance, I’m not sure when I first heard the term “transgender,” but I’m sure I was in my 80s. Now, every time I turn around, they’re in the news, usually because the schools, the military or the sports world, is going out of its way to accommodate these misfits.

Because being politically correct goes against my nature, I don’t feel the need to sympathize with them. I don’t see them as being oppressed. Quite the contrary. Like every other minority group in this nation, they are looking to turn their alleged oppression into a special status, sort of like that of India’s sacred cows.

Somehow, they have even managed to bully their way into female athletic events, knowing that their testosterone gives them every advantage when it comes to strength, speed and stamina, no matter how often they insist they’re actually women.

And as I don’t hear a single transgender daring to point out that these competitions aren’t fair, I feel free to tar them all.

So far as I’m concerned, they are freaks deeply in need of long-term psychiatric therapy.

Apparently, someone at the IRS leaked the fact that the likes of Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg and Warren Buffet, pay no personal income tax. A few members of Congress let us know they were outraged. As you might expect, they weren’t upset that the richest people in America weren’t paying a penny in income taxes, but that the news had been leaked.

Having had to watch commercials during my week’s stay in the hospital, I found myself wondering about a couple of campaigns. Is there anybody in the country who checked out Geico auto insurance because a lizard told him he could save 15% in 15 minutes?

Worse yet, have you or anybody you know been moved to sign up with Liberty Mutual because you found Doug and his pet emu so darn cute?

As you all know, I am not religious. But if I were religious, and if the religion I followed was Catholicism, I would consider converting.

First of all, I found it hard to believe that America’s Catholic churches all caved like a house of cards when petty government officials demanded that they be locked up for over a year. And now, when there has been a grassroots movement to deny Holy Communion to elected officials, including Joe Biden, Andrew Cuomo and Nancy Pelosi, all of whom actively promote abortions (allegedly a grave evil in the eyes of the Church), the Vatican comes out in opposition, stating that “adopting such a policy, because of its contentious nature, could become a source of discord.”

You might begin to suspect that when he’s not serving as our Chief Justice, namby-pamby John Roberts is overseeing Church policy.

If Catholicism becomes increasing irrelevant, the principals should understand it’s because when push came to shove, the Church rendered unto Caesar that which was not Caesar’s to receive.

Among the many things about America that the Left hates, the nuclear family is very near the top. That’s because it’s one of the very few things standing between Communists and total control of the individual. They already control the schools and the media; now if they could just find a way to get rid of mom and dad, they would have victory locked up.

In case you might be wondering what their idea of Nirvana looks like, pay a visit to the urban areas in which fatherless black kids live like pack animals in the wild.

Over the past 70 years, we have managed to give “war” a bad name. For openers, we haven’t won a war since 1945. We have fought more of them than anybody else, but in spite of the blood and treasure squandered in these wars, we have grown accustomed to ties, even when the enemy have been tribes lacking an air force. Unlike Korea, where we pretended we had won, we now just pull out after so many years. They’re less like wars and more like exercises intended to keep defense companies in business and the brass at the Pentagon occupied.

Then there’s that other form of warfare, the one involving illegal drugs.

As you can imagine, with all the bedrest I’ve been having lately, it’s left me with a lot of time for daydreaming.

So, it occurred to me that if we were serious about winning the drug war, we would bomb the homes of the so-called drug lords. We’d kill their henchmen. We’d also set up machine gun nests at the border and kill the coyotes, and let the world know that they could easily wind up collateral damage if they try sneaking across.

Border agents would no longer be acting as nannies and babysitters.

Anybody sporting an MS-13 tattoo in the U.S. would be disposed of with no questions asked. He is definitely not here to open a restaurant or start up a tech company. If he wishes to brag that he is a member of a criminal organization, congratulate him for his candor and then blow his brains out.

If none of this sounds like the sort of thing that a soldier or a border agent would do, it’s because in my fantasy, I would employ mercenaries and assassins. It’s a dirty job, but, as Mike Rowe often points out, just because everyone won’t do a dirty job doesn’t mean they don’t need to be done.

My guys would go into our inner cities and because they’d know how to shoot straight, they’d wipe out the gangs virtually overnight, and not a single toddler would be killed by stray bullets.

Next on my agenda, we’d go after George Soros the way we went after Osama bin Laden, by repelling my militiamen off helicopters behind the walls of his estate.

I would make his death as bloody and gruesome as possible as a warning to his sons to quit funding BLM and Antifa, and electing left-wing D.A.s, and to take up the traditional lifestyle of the rich and fatuous — polo, booze and chorus girls.

When it comes to the owners and editors of America’s newspapers, I’d make it clear that along with the protection granted them by the First Amendment, they have a responsibility to be nobody’s lap dog. Their obligation is to report the news, period, as objectively as humanly possible. If they choose to run a partisan editorial, it will be their obligation to run a counterargument on the same page.

Their mission would be to allow for a diversity of opinion, not to seek racial diversity in the workplace.

If they fail to recognize an offer they can’t refuse, some horse is going to wake up to find a severed head in its stall.

So far as the oligarchs of the Silicon Valley are concerned, they’d have only a short time to clean up their acts before my helicopters started landing at their estates. If they wish to survive, Facebook, Google and Twitter would become what they were supposed to be; namely, platforms open to spirited debate, and not partisan propaganda outlets immune from lawsuits.

To show their good faith, Bezos, Zuckerberg and Dorsey would have to fire all those adolescent censors posing as “fact checkers.”

Keep in mind, you rich guys, you’re not our boss. You don’t get to delete anyone, including a former president of the United States, even for profanity. At the same time, those expressing opinions will have to identify themselves. If you’re too cowardly to let people know who you are, your opinion isn’t worth spit.

All of this pretty much involves domestic matters. Internationally, my team of assassins would be busy cleaning up some of the more obvious problems in Russia, China, North Korea, Venezuela and Iran. Kill off a few dictators and you do the world a world of good. If you’re looking for regime change, nothing beats taking out the likes of Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, Kim Jong-un, Nicolás Maduro and Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, and letting their successors know what’s in store for them if they don’t start behaving themselves.

Okay, I’m just dreaming. But it beats all those nightmares I see being played out on the world stage.

The other day, I received a couple of emails letting me know subscribers hadn’t received that morning’s article. It wasn’t a technical snafu; I hadn’t sent one out. For the immediate future, I’m afraid the articles will be hit and miss.

Until the doctors get the cough under control, I’m afraid that there will be days I’m simply too exhausted to even sit at the computer long enough to read an article, let alone write one.

Burt Prelutsky is a columnist at The Patriot Post, and is a former humor columnist for the LA Times.

Read more excellent articles at The Patriot Post  https://patriotpost.us/