The Things Some People Say

Posted on Sun 11/25/2018 by


 By Burt Prelutsky  ~  

When some people say life isn’t fair, it’s just sour grapes. All they’re saying is that they don’t have a billion dollars; don’t live in a castle; aren’t rock stars, super models or movie legends; aren’t married to George Clooney or Julia Roberts; or, if they happen to be Hillary Clinton, are not living once again in the white House.

But when you look around and see people like Jim Acosta, Chris Matthews, Rachel Maddow, Carl Bernstein, A.B. Stoddard, John Brennan, Juan Williams, Geraldo Rivera, Chris Hahn, Richard Goodstein and Kathy Areu, constantly spouting nonsense on TV, you begin to get a handle on the enormity of the problem.

Combine that with the fact that so many Americans are so completely befuddled when it comes to politics that they keep electing and re-electing the likes of Nancy Pelosi, Elijah Cummings, Maxine Waters, Lisa Murkowski, Adam Schiff, Ben Cardin, Eric Swalwell, Sheila Jackson Lee, Mazie Hirono, Hank Johnson, Richard Blumenthal, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and Dianne Feinstein, and sticking the rest of us with them.

A prime example of the nation’s madness is that a couple of nincompoops like Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar are paid millions of dollars a year to show up on The View and voice their ignorant opinions.

Just recently, Joy Behar, who comes across like a combination of Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell, blamed the failure of the Democrats to regain control of the Senate on gerrymandering.

She had to have it pointed out to her that gerrymandering only affects House races, not statewide Senate races.

I am always simultaneously surprised and repulsed by the fact that those with the biggest mouths — Behar, Goldberg, Robert De Niro, Maxine Waters, Ashley Judd, Madonna, Nancy Pelosi, Alec Baldwin – so often have the tiniest brains. They’re the humian equivalent of whales.

As I sit here, the fires are still raging all over California. Living in L.A. as I do, I am often struck by how many people choose to make their homes in the wooded hills and canyons, some of them precariously perched on stilts, literally candle wicks just begging to be lit.

I should say that the people who live there call them homes. Vulcan, the Roman god of fire, would no doubt refer to them as kindling.

As if fires caused by lightning and those caused inadvertently by thoughtless smokers tossing their lighted butts out of car windows wasn’t bad enough, there is also the problem of environmental zealots preventing dying trees to be cut down and cleared away.

As you may recall, it was the same crowd that helped a hurricane demolish New Orleans some years back. Their contribution was an endless series of lawsuits that had prevented the Army Corps of Engineers from reinforcing the levees over the course of 40 years.

Another reason that we have so many fires in California is because, being the most populous state, we have more than our share of arsonists. When you realize how much misery they cause simply because watching trees, homes, people, dogs and horses go up in flames is the only way they can derive sexual satisfaction, it does seem a shame that death by fire isn’t the automatic sentence when these freaks are captured, tried and found guilty.

When one of my subscribers, Patrick Miano, a military veteran, let me know that his son, a wing commander, is still serving and well on his way to being a 30-year man, I asked him if his son had noticed a change since Donald Trump was elected.

He replied: “Indeed he has. He reports that there is more and better equipment and funding, and a much-needed buildup. Morale is high.”

Just another campaign promise the man has delivered on. And yet millions of people still long for the days when Barack Obama worked tirelessly to destroy America and de-fund our military.

Speaking of the two-term abomination, someone sent me some of the old news items questioning his birthplace. Frankly, I didn’t see the point then and I don’t see it now. I am, of course, delighted that Trump has done everything in his power to erase such so-called legacy items as ObamaCare, the Paris Accords and the Iran Nuclear Deal. I almost wrote “white out” instead of “erase, but I don’t want to create any unnecessary problems for a man who is already being labeled a racist and a White Nationalist on an hourly basis by the nincompoops at CNN and MSNBC.

Getting back to Obama, with so many actual reasons to despise him, I never saw the point of dredging up questions surrounding his birth. What’s the difference, after all, if his birth father was an African Communist or an American Communist or whether he was born in Hawaii, Kenya or on the moon? So far as I was concerned, unlike the Latino anchor babies who are walking around today, Obama was entitled to be an American because his mother, besides being a flake, was an American citizen. To me, that made him an American. A rotten one, but an American, nevertheless.

After I listed the 18 most deplorable Americans of the past 80 years, someone rounded it off to 20, adding Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Alfred Kinsey. He wrote: “FDR is debatable since he did most of his damage to the Constitution before 1938. Kinsey, however, is the fraudulent sex researcher who did much to break down sexual morality in the nation. The harm done to countless human lives is incalculable.”

I would only add that I have always had a problem with giving Roosevelt too much credit for helping to win World War II. For one thing, we only got actively involved nearly four years after England did. And then it was only after Pearl Harbor got hit and we declared war on Japan that Germany declared war on us.

Finally, Roosevelt handed over all of eastern Europe to Stalin at the Yalta Conference, which gave rise to a 40 year Cold War and to the subjugation of hundreds of millions of people to the Soviet Union. So far as I and I dare say Winston Churchill were concerned, their blood and misery were on Roosevelt’s hands.

Nancy Thorner, the pride of Lake Bluff, Illinois, sent along the following insightful item from the Patriot Post: Socialism is like a mouse trap. It works because the mouse doesn’t understand why the cheese is free.

I only got part way through that list of facts that most people don’t know and will soon forget, but about which I have a few things to say.

“Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about ten.” (Which is yet another reason most people prefer dogs to cats. They talk less.)

“In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.” (Somebody seems to have overlooked the American male.)

“If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of reproduction.” (If those people can actually reproduce while walking, I think we should give up right now. Why bother even trying to compete with them?)

“Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.” (In every picture I’ve ever seen of the man, he had very long hair and a very long beard. Which leads me to assume that after he invented them, he couldn’t figure out their purpose and therefore never got the patent. Which was very lucky for a guy named Charley Scissors, who saw his chance and grabbed it. It was Charley’s mother, by the way, who first said: “I don’t care how rich they’ve made you, I don’t ever want to see you running in the house with them.”)

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