Dr. Frankenstein, Meet Dr. Obama

Posted on Sat 11/30/2013 by


PP_Burt Prelutsky_2012-05-29By Burt Prelutsky

A lot of people are saying that ObamaCare is dead, thanks to its disastrous rollout and the embarrassingly low number of enrollees. The line they’re using is either comparing it to putting toothpaste back in the tube or getting the genie back in the bottle. But, frankly, when I look at it, the image that comes to mind has nothing to do with bottles or tubes, but, rather, involves a bodily orifice.

FDR gave us the New Deal, LBJ gave us the Great Society, and BHO gave us the Dirty Deal.

There have been times in our nation’s history when people could look at the White House and feel some measure of pride in being an American. These days, you have to look to the Marines on the U.S.S. George Washington delivering food, water and meds, to the sick and dying in the Philippines. Semper fi.

It’s been said that when Lyndon Johnson lost Walter Cronkite, he lost the Vietnam War and his chance of being re-elected. I would think that when Obama lost Dianne Feinstein and 39 Democrats in the House, he lost the Affordable Care Act.

Speaking of which, some wag observed that Barack Obama is what happens when Affirmative Action collides with the Peter Principle.

Sometimes, mere nomenclature can create unimaginable and totally unnecessary problems. For instance, Israel should never have referred to any communities within its borders as being “settlements.” The word conveys the impression that something is of a temporary nature, something easily traded away or ceded.

Another such term is “pre-existing conditions.” To my ear, it sounds like a situation in which a person without health insurance becomes seriously ill and finds himself unable to then obtain a policy. That would be the equivalent of purchasing fire insurance after your house burns down. The real problem is that insurance companies simply drop paying customers once they develop cancer or heart disease, leaving them out in the cold. At which point, those people have an existing condition and find it impossible to sign up with another company.

That should have been an easy fix, whether it meant raising everyone’s policy by a few cents a month to cover catastrophic illnesses or by forcing every insurance company to contribute to a common pool to cover such tragic eventualities.

What it didn’t call for is a Marxist one-policy-fits-all approach that was solely intended to intrude the federal government even further into our lives and to simultaneously gobble up a huge percentage of the nation’s economy.

One of the ironies of ObamaCare is that the man behind it, who had spent a good portion of the past five years apologizing for America, suddenly forgot how to say “I’m sorry” to the American people in general, and, specifically, the Republicans in Congress. After all, they did everything in their power to prevent him from becoming the poster boy for incompetence and deceit by unanimously voting against the Affordable Care Act. He owes a special shout-out to Ted Cruz and Mike Lee for doing everything in their power to help him avoid his Waterloo.

When you get right down to it, there has never been a medical product prior to ObamaCare that was ever sold without a single test having been conducted by the FDA, nor one peddled in the marketplace with nary a warning by the manufacturer of its toxic ingredients or its lethal side effects.

When France initially put the kibosh on the deal with Iran, I was waving the tri-color. But, then, for reasons I can’t imagine, unless it was the sudden realization that the notoriously anti-Semitic French were doing something good for Israel, they decided to follow Obama and Kerry’s notoriously anti-Semitic lead and signed on to the worst deal since the one Neville Chamberlain cut with the Nazis 75 years ago in Munich.

The only people who still believe that Obama is a friend of Israel are the same ones who believe that a health insurance policy that offers mammograms to men, pre-natal care to elderly women and drug rehab to the Amish, is actually superior to the policies that people select for themselves. Anyone who has paid any attention at all to Obama would be aware that when it comes to death panels, he not only approves of them for Americans, but for Israelis.

Finally, let me say that I appreciate hearing from those of you who have asked for updates regarding my rheumatoid arthritis. It has gotten progressively worse, so I have finally opted to have surgery performed on my right wrist.

It is slated for Friday the 13th (of December). Fortunately, I am not the least bit superstitious. I’m just hoping that when Dr. Hanker shows up, he’ll be wearing a standard surgical mask, and not the sort typically worn by hockey goalies.

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, was born in Chicago, in 1940, and raised in Los Angeles.He has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated.

For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies that starred the likes of Jean Stapleton, Ed Asner, Keith Carradine, Mare Winningham, Jean Simmons, Jack Warden, Barnard Hughes, Richard Thomas, Sharon Gless, Sylvia Sidney, Harold Gould and Lillian Gish. He has been nominated for three WGA awards (winning one), won three Christophers, been nominated for a Humanitas and won an Edgar.

Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker … and rarely cheats at either.

Cover of "Conservatives Are from Mars, Li...

Cover via Amazon

He is the best-selling author of “Conservatives Are From Mars, Liberals Are From San Francisco,” as well as “Portraits of Success: Candid Conversations with 60 Over-Achievers,” a collection of interviews with subjects such as Newt Gingrich, Carl Reiner, Gary Sinise, Michele Bachmann, Charles Krauthammer, Andrew Breitbart, Paul Ryan, Rick Perry, Pat Boone, John Stossel, Ralph Peters and the late Karl Malden. His book “Liberals: America’s Termites or It’s a Shame That Liberals, Unlike Hamsters, Never Eat Their Young” is available at The Patriot Shop.

He lives in the San Fernando Valley, where he takes his marching orders from a wife named Yvonne and a dog named Duke.

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