Highly Implausible Deniability

Posted on Wed 11/27/2013 by


PP_Burt Prelutsky_2012-05-29By Burt Prelutsky ~

Barack Obama, mainly through his sock puppet Jay Carney, claims he knew nothing about Operation Fast & Furious; the tapping of the AP phones; Ambassador Steven’s request for additional security in Benghazi; the NSA spying on our allies; the suspension of military death benefits; the targeting of conservatives by the IRS; or the problems with the ObamaCare rollout.

But Democrats continue to insist he is the smartest guy in the world. Hell, he isn’t even the brightest individual in the room if the First Dog, Bo, wanders into the Oval Office searching for his chew toy.

The biggest question about Obama is whether he’s simply dumb or just plain lazy. We keep hearing that he isn’t into details. If you’re a fan, that means he concentrates on the big picture, while delegating implementation of his agenda to his legion of go-fers, including Pelosi, Reid, Kerry and Holder. If you’re not a fan, you’re more likely to assume that, being the stereotypical recipient of affirmative action, he has gotten away with skating for the past 35 years, counting on his race and his arrogant grin to get him where he enjoys being; namely, devoting almost every waking hour to the campaign trail, soaking up the adoration of left-wing nincompoops.

It’s hard to avoid the irony of Richard Nixon having been impeached for bugging the phones in a single office when Obama gets away with bugging every phone in the world.

Speaking of bugs, Sean Penn accused Tea Party Republicans and conservatives in general of being uneducated. For the record, Penn’s own academic resume consists of dropping out of a community college after, by his own admission, taking a few classes in auto repair.

As you may have noticed, the FBI and the State Department refused to allow survivors of the Benghazi massacre to testify before Congress because, they claimed, it might jeopardize trials involving the terrorists. They did this in spite of the fact that even more than a year after the killing of four Americans, not one of the Muslim creeps has even been captured.

As bad as that is, even when a congressional committee manages to get someone to testify, they conduct the hearing like the egotistical little jerks they are, devoting most of the time to jousting with one another for face time on TV. Whether the witness is Hillary Clinton, Lois Lerner, Eric Holder or Kathleen Sebelius, they should appoint one of their members, preferably a former prosecuting attorney, to grill these weasels the same way he or she would in a criminal court.

I wonder how many more federal agencies we will have to hear about, wasting millions of tax dollars on goofy conferences, before the revolution begins. It seems as if every other week, some department feels the need to fly off to a resort for a morale-boosting get-together. I say if receiving fat salaries, huge pensions and an exemption from ObamaCare, isn’t enough of a morale-booster for these clowns, what they really need to do is find another job, not sit through a puerile spoof of “Patton” or “Star Trek.”

In fact, if they had half a brain, they would run for office. That’s where the real gravy is. For instance, although poll taxes have been done away with, there is something you might call a toll tax in D.C. Not too long ago, House Speaker John Boehner sat on a popular piece of legislation that prevented a tax on cell phone calls. That is, he sat on it until lobbyists for AT&T came through with $60,000 for his war chest. The very next day, the other 434 members of Congress were finally allowed to vote on the bill.

Or take Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, who didn’t require a mortgage when he purchased his luxurious suite at the Ritz-Carlton. That’s because he paid the $750,000 in cash!

Finally, on my weekly webcast, a left-wing booby called in and attempted to deliver a filibuster on behalf of global warming. Fortunately, I was able to pull the plug when he refused to let me sneak a word in edgewise. In hastening his departure, I pointed out that, like Ronald Reagan, I had paid for the microphone. What shocked me, though, was that someone was still bloviating about global warming. I thought all the environmental zealots had changed their mantra to climate change, once even Al Gore had to acknowledge that the earth’s temperature had begun cooling down over the past 15 years.

What I tried to tell this oaf was that science is not a matter of consensus, as he was insisting. Everything in science is merely a theory until empirical evidence either confirms or refutes it. And as soon as anyone starts tossing around words like “consensus” or “the majority of experts agree,” you better open your umbrella because it isn’t raining rain, you know, it’s raining manure.

But I also would have suggested that he ask himself this question: In the current political climate, who is more likely to be telling the unvarnished truth – those who deny that man is responsible for altering the earth’s temperatures, thus ensuring they will be the last hired and the first derided; or those who toe the party line, thereby ensuring themselves federal grants, professorships and the camaraderie of left-wing academics and bureaucratic buffoons?

Author’s Note: Although I’m still seeking sponsors, my online radio show is on the air, every Wednesday, at 1 p.m. That’s L.A. time. Access www.latalkradio.com, channel 1, and click on Listen Live. You can also download to your iPhone or Android apps. The call-in number is (323)203-0815. I’d like to hear your questions and comments, pro or con. Especially pro.

Partial Bio:

Burt Prelutsky, a very nice person once you get to know him, was born in Chicago, in 1940, and raised in Los Angeles.

He has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times and a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine. As a freelancer, he has written for the New York Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated.

For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder. In addition, he has written a batch of terrific TV movies that starred the likes of Jean Stapleton, Ed Asner, Keith Carradine, Mare Winningham, Jean Simmons, Jack Warden, Barnard Hughes, Richard Thomas, Sharon Gless, Sylvia Sidney, Harold Gould and Lillian Gish. He has been nominated for three WGA awards (winning one), won three Christophers, been nominated for a Humanitas and won an Edgar.

Talk about being well-rounded, he plays tennis and poker … and rarely cheats at either…

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