Undecided Voters Suffer From Dangerous Medical Condition

Posted on Tue 10/19/2010 by


Erica Bazoombas[picapp align=”right” wrap=”true” link=”term=question+marks&iid=5216803″ src=”http://view3.picapp.com/pictures.photo/image/5216803/question-mark-maze/question-mark-maze.jpg?size=500&imageId=5216803″ width=”272″ height=”353″ /](NEW YORK, N.Y.) by Erica Bazoombas – Indecision is a debilitating condition that can prevent sufferers from taking a full and active part in society. A sufferer from indecision can often spend whole days in the house, afraid to go outside. The condition has come to be known as Undecided Mental Malady (umm) and when it comes to voting, the disorder may be accelerated to a dangerous level.

A recent study of the condition was completed by umm expert Dr. Vinnie Boombatz of the Institute of Bewilderment at NYU’s College of Blood and Goo, and is published in the current edition of the New England Journal of Lunacy. Dr. Boombatz asserts that people who cannot commit in the upcoming November 2nd elections should not be asked to make any choices at all for at least 24 hours before voting. “Just asking an umm sufferer ‘regular or decaf’ can cause them to curl up into a ball and roll around the floor,” said Boombatz. He added, “This is very disruptive when you are trying to vacuum.”

ParkayUmm syndrome gained national attention last month when it was used as a defense in a murder trial in Tampa, Florida. Defendant Al Dente claimed he stabbed his wife to death when she asked him to choose between butter and Parkay on his English muffin and he couldn’t decide. The jury convicted Dente, however, and when they couldn’t choose between life in prison and the death penalty Mr. Dente stressed out, suffered a stroke and dropped dead in the courtroom. According to Dr. Boombatz he was a rare victim of “indirect umm.”

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