Rug Fail Embarrasses Oval Office

Posted on Tue 09/07/2010 by

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From The Endive The News Leader of the Known Universe

Damn RugA planned makeover for the Oval Office went awry while President Obama was on vacation last week, as the President discovered too late that all five quotes embroidered into the perimeter of the new rug were wrongly attributed.

A quote attributed to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was actually a Theodore Parker quote, but that was just the beginning. The rug also contained what the President thought was a quote from George Washington.

The quote reads, “Turn a man over and shake him if you truly want to see what you can sock into government coffers.”

As the Washington Post pointed out, it’s not George Washington at all. It’s Leonard Maltin. The mistake happens often, according to Maltin.

“Vanity Fair ran a piece on my political philosophy right across from a George Washington pictorial,” said Maltin, “Easy mistake.”

That, however, was the mildest of the mistakes on the rug. The second quote, “The folly of a man’s prostate is that it was never touched to my moistened lips,” isn’t from John Quincy Adams after all.

It’s really Al Roker.

“Did I say that?” said Roker, rather irate that he had been called for a comment while attempting to shower, “Jeez, I say a lot of stuff on the air. Here’s another one. Lick my ass.”

The other end of the rug isn’t much better. Its quotation, “I think I can fit inside that hollowed-out pickle,” isn’t from Herbert Hoover. It’s Lady GaGa. GaGa’s publicist admitted that the eccentric pop star did once say that in her “Herbert Hoover voice.”

The President seemed most embarrassed by the final quote.

“She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I ever seen.”

This one, originally spoken by AC/DC’s Brian Johnson, was wrongfully attributed to Abraham Lincoln, and isn’t even the quote the President wanted on there in the first place.

“I’m most upset about that last quote,” said the President, “I asked for the Presidential quote that most reminded me of the first time I met Michelle, and I specified that it was kind of like my favorite song. The quote was totally wrong. My favorite song is not ‘You Shook me all Night Long.’ It’s a George Clinton tune.”

Obama then explained that he believes Clinton, just like President Lincoln, did once turn to a woman he was in love with in order to proclaim the real intended quote, “DAMN, BABY!”

The rug was quickly removed and sent back to its creator.

“We at Joe’s Rugs are deeply embarrassed and sorry for this error,” said Joe Memlo, President of Joe’s Rugs, “I have been a ruggeteer for more than 25 years and this is the first time I’ve ever misquoted anyone on a rug. Well, except for that time I put ‘That’s one small step for flan’ on Neil Armstrong’s area rug.”

Read more Humorous Articles and Satire  at The Endive

A planned makeover for the Oval Office went awry while President Obama was on vacation last week, as the President discovered too late that all five quotes embroidered into the perimeter of the new rug were wrongly attributed.

A quote attributed to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was actually a Theodore Parker quote, but that was just the beginning. The rug also contained what the President thought was a quote from George Washington.

The quote reads, “Turn a man over and shake him if you truly want to see what you can sock into government coffers.”

As the Washington Post pointed out, it’s not George Washington at all. It’s Leonard Maltin. The mistake happens often, according to Maltin.

“Vanity Fair ran a piece on my political philosophy right across from a George Washington pictorial,” said Maltin, “Easy mistake.”

That, however, was the mildest of the mistakes on the rug. The second quote, “The folly of a man’s prostate is that it was never touched to my moistened lips,” isn’t from John Quincy Adams after all.

It’s really Al Roker.

“Did I say that?” said Roker, rather irate that he had been called for a comment while attempting to shower, “Jeez, I say a lot of stuff on the air. Here’s another one. Lick my ass.”

The other end of the rug isn’t much better. Its quotation, “I think I can fit inside that hollowed-out pickle,” isn’t from Herbert Hoover. It’s Lady GaGa. GaGa’s publicist admitted that the eccentric pop star did once say that in her “Herbert Hoover voice.”

The President seemed most embarrassed by the final quote.

“She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I ever seen.”

This one, originally spoken by AC/DC’s Brian Johnson, was wrongfully attributed to Abraham Lincoln, and isn’t even the quote the President wanted on there in the first place.

“I’m most upset about that last quote,” said the President, “I asked for the Presidential quote that most reminded me of the first time I met Michelle, and I specified that it was kind of like my favorite song. The quote was totally wrong. My favorite song is not ‘You Shook me all Night Long.’ It’s a George Clinton tune.”

Obama then explained that he believes Clinton, just like President Lincoln, did once turn to a woman he was in love with in order to proclaim the real intended quote, “DAMN, BABY!”

The rug was quickly removed and sent back to its creator.

“We at Joe’s Rugs are deeply embarrassed and sorry for this error,” said Joe Memlo, President of Joe’s Rugs, “I have been a ruggeteer for more than 25 years and this is the first time I’ve ever misquoted anyone on a rug. Well, except for that time I put ‘That’s one small step for flan’ on Neil Armstrong’s area rug.”A planned makeover for the Oval Office went awry while President Obama was on vacation last week, as the President discovered too late that all five quotes embroidered into the perimeter of the new rug were wrongly attributed.

A quote attributed to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was actually a Theodore Parker quote, but that was just the beginning. The rug also contained what the President thought was a quote from George Washington.

The quote reads, “Turn a man over and shake him if you truly want to see what you can sock into government coffers.”

As the Washington Post pointed out, it’s not George Washington at all. It’s Leonard Maltin. The mistake happens often, according to Maltin.

“Vanity Fair ran a piece on my political philosophy right across from a George Washington pictorial,” said Maltin, “Easy mistake.”

That, however, was the mildest of the mistakes on the rug. The second quote, “The folly of a man’s prostate is that it was never touched to my moistened lips,” isn’t from John Quincy Adams after all.

It’s really Al Roker.

“Did I say that?” said Roker, rather irate that he had been called for a comment while attempting to shower, “Jeez, I say a lot of stuff on the air. Here’s another one. Lick my ass.”

The other end of the rug isn’t much better. Its quotation, “I think I can fit inside that hollowed-out pickle,” isn’t from Herbert Hoover. It’s Lady GaGa. GaGa’s publicist admitted that the eccentric pop star did once say that in her “Herbert Hoover voice.”

The President seemed most embarrassed by the final quote.

“She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I ever seen.”

This one, originally spoken by AC/DC’s Brian Johnson, was wrongfully attributed to Abraham Lincoln, and isn’t even the quote the President wanted on there in the first place.

“I’m most upset about that last quote,” said the President, “I asked for the Presidential quote that most reminded me of the first time I met Michelle, and I specified that it was kind of like my favorite song. The quote was totally wrong. My favorite song is not ‘You Shook me all Night Long.’ It’s a George Clinton tune.”

Obama then explained that he believes Clinton, just like President Lincoln, did once turn to a woman he was in love with in order to proclaim the real intended quote, “DAMN, BABY!”

The rug was quickly removed and sent back to its creator.

“We at Joe’s Rugs are deeply embarrassed and sorry for this error,” said Joe Memlo, President of Joe’s Rugs, “I have been a ruggeteer for more than 25 years and this is the first time I’ve ever misquoted anyone on a rug. Well, except for that time I put ‘That’s one small step for flan’ on Neil Armstrong’s area rug.”A planned makeover for the Oval Office went awry while President Obama was on vacation last week, as the President discovered too late that all five quotes embroidered into the perimeter of the new rug were wrongly attributed.

A quote attributed to Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was actually a Theodore Parker quote, but that was just the beginning. The rug also contained what the President thought was a quote from George Washington.

The quote reads, “Turn a man over and shake him if you truly want to see what you can sock into government coffers.”

As the Washington Post pointed out, it’s not George Washington at all. It’s Leonard Maltin. The mistake happens often, according to Maltin.

“Vanity Fair ran a piece on my political philosophy right across from a George Washington pictorial,” said Maltin, “Easy mistake.”

That, however, was the mildest of the mistakes on the rug. The second quote, “The folly of a man’s prostate is that it was never touched to my moistened lips,” isn’t from John Quincy Adams after all.

It’s really Al Roker.

“Did I say that?” said Roker, rather irate that he had been called for a comment while attempting to shower, “Jeez, I say a lot of stuff on the air. Here’s another one. Lick my ass.”

The other end of the rug isn’t much better. Its quotation, “I think I can fit inside that hollowed-out pickle,” isn’t from Herbert Hoover. It’s Lady GaGa. GaGa’s publicist admitted that the eccentric pop star did once say that in her “Herbert Hoover voice.”

The President seemed most embarrassed by the final quote.

“She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean. She was the best damn woman that I ever seen.”

This one, originally spoken by AC/DC’s Brian Johnson, was wrongfully attributed to Abraham Lincoln, and isn’t even the quote the President wanted on there in the first place.

“I’m most upset about that last quote,” said the President, “I asked for the Presidential quote that most reminded me of the first time I met Michelle, and I specified that it was kind of like my favorite song. The quote was totally wrong. My favorite song is not ‘You Shook me all Night Long.’ It’s a George Clinton tune.”

Obama then explained that he believes Clinton, just like President Lincoln, did once turn to a woman he was in love with in order to proclaim the real intended quote, “DAMN, BABY!”

The rug was quickly removed and sent back to its creator.

“We at Joe’s Rugs are deeply embarrassed and sorry for this error,” said Joe Memlo, President of Joe’s Rugs, “I have been a ruggeteer for more than 25 years and this is the first time I’ve ever misquoted anyone on a rug. Well, except for that time I put ‘That’s one small step for flan’ on Neil Armstrong’s area rug.”

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