White House Will Use “ObamaSpeak”

Posted on Sat 09/04/2010 by


Robert Gibbs
Gibbs: “You’re a nitwit. But those
tatas are very impressive.”

(WASHINGTON, D.C.) by Robert Feeley –

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs issued a statement this morning in ObamaSpeak, a new language some say is similar to George Orwell’s dystopian doublespeak. The statement, “Economy up. Republicans idiotic. More jobs. Obama patriotic,” was  translated to ObamaSpeak from the standard English, “The economy continues to be screwed up as Republicans work to block idiotic legislation being considered by Congress. More jobs were lost this week, as Obama‘s perception as an unpatriotic rube continues to grow.”

SPN’s Erica Bazommbas

Gibbs explained that ObamaSpeak will allow the White House to communicate more effectively with those he called unenlightened. “We are too busy doing the work of the people to reveal every exiguous detail,” he said. “We omit certain words that would only serve to bewilder nitwits. Like you,” he said pointing to SPN reporter Erica Bazoombas.

Gibbs concluded with, “Hoochie coochie, pumpkin pie. Afghanistan, Jewish rye.” At press time there was no translation available.

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Penetrating Political Parody and Other Poppycock