Group Calls For Illegal’s Safe Passage

Posted on Thu 07/29/2010 by


By Scooter Van Neuter

ARIZONA (SR) – An anti-illegal immigration group is calling on the Obama administration to ensure a safe and efficient exit for illegals leaving the U.S. due to Arizona’s strict new immigration law.

Americans for Legal Immigration PAC (ALIPAC) is asking the White House and Homeland Security Department to establish “safe departure” checkpoints along the border for illegal immigrants where they can exit the country “as quickly as possible.”

The suggested checkpoints would feature revolving doors spinning at a high rate of speed, coupled with high pressure water jets that would propel the departing visitors back across the border at over 25 MPH. “They worked so hard to get here, we want to make it fast, fun, and easy to go back,” said a spokesman for the group.

The crossings would also provide an efficient collection point for cars and other goods stolen by the immigrants during their stay.

My comments: While this sounds like a great idea, I have reservations about flinging these people at that speed – could they make the doors spin faster?

Scooter's Signature

Proposed Safe Departure Point

Proposed high speed border exit

Read More Satire with Comic Comments at Scooter’s Report