A Cordial Invitation

Posted on Sun 01/11/2009 by



Gabriel Garnica Esq.


Mr. and Mrs. Liberal Establishment Formally Request the Honor of Your Presence
at The Wedding of Their Daughter,
The Mainstream Media,
to the Newly Elected President of The United States,
Barack Hussein Obama,
Ceremony to be Held at The West Front of The Capitol,
Washington, D.C., Tuesday, January 20th, at 12 Noon, 2009
Receptions to be Held All Over the Place
Hypocritical, Delusional, and Leftist Attitude Required

Given the very public and blatant love affair that has flourished between the American mainstream media and Barack Obama over the past year, it should surprise few that these two lovebirds will finally make their bond official on the day the liberals’ world will stand still, January 20th. Already, late night hosts such as David Letterman are counting the days to that fateful day like anxious brides eager to see their groom. Not to be outdone, liberal propaganda rags such as Time and Newsweek have been busy putting their fawning adoration to words, panting at the mere thought that the man of their dreams will soon be top dog in Washington.

According to folks such as Time editor Richard Stengel, Obama is simply a political, social and international icon who has and will continue to alter the course of American and world history.

The courtship between Barack Obama and this media was more like a sweeping romantic musical where the maiden is swept off her feet by the dashing prince.
Anyone who has been in love knows that, all too often, love renders the one in love somewhere between myopic and blind, foolish and stupid, or delusional and protective. In this case, it is fair to say that third situation applies. We can safely conclude this because, while American voters who pulled the lever for Obama neatly fall into one of the first two categories, the mainstream media is neither.

Romance enthusiasts may wonder what these two love about each other. Rumor has it that the media loves the way Obama is young, charismatic, different and liberal. Obama, on the other hand, enjoys the fact that the media loves and serves him. Their engagement was not secret, however, since Barack proposed to the media when he gave the keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and the media, slowly but surely accepted, so that by the start of the presidential campaign cycle it had dumped its former suitor, Hillary Clinton, in favor of this charismatic, fresh face. As is often the case, Clinton was the last to realize that the media had chosen pants over pant suits. The engagement between Obama and the media became formal on election night, when the media managed to convince enough sheep that the wolf was far better than the shepherd.

Prudes who point out that Obama is already married should note that, as a good liberal, Obama’s marriage is open to third parties. In fact, the media is madly in love with Obama’s entire immediate family, fawning over every step the children take and gushing over Barack and Michelle Obama as the ideal couple in every respect. That great affection, however, seems to end the farther one gets from Obama’s immediate family and does not extend to relatives who might contradict his true citizenship, be in danger of deportation, or are ignored and living in extreme poverty abroad.
The happy couple is registered at Daily Kos and their bridal party makes Hugo Chávez look like Ronald Reagan. The bride will wear a dress made of the thousands of fawning fluff pieces it has written about Obama in the past year. The groom will wear a tailored suit, a smile and a smirk. Their first dance will be the classic R&B hit “Everybody Plays the Fool” by the group The Main Ingredient, which the couple chose in honor of those who voted for Obama whom they consider the main ingredient of their victory. Entertainment will be provided by most of Hollywood, NOW, Tina Fey impersonating Sarah Palin, and a troupe of moderate Republicans who will flip on a dime for Obama’s favors.

Invited guests include every world leader left of Chavez. Roseanne Barr, Rosie O’Donnell, Joy Behar, Cynthia McKinney and Bill Maher will conduct a think tank session focusing on how to convince oneself that one has anything intelligent to say.

Finally, the happy couple plan to honeymoon for eight years, pretty much doing whatever they want in the smug knowledge that only positive spins and plenty of defensive news blackouts will follow. Anyone wishing to buy something for the couple need not bother, since the couple already knows enough of you have bought their story and, by the way, they are sticking to it.

Who says that romance is dead?

FamilySecurityMatters.org Contributing Editor Gabriel Garnica, Esq., is a college professor and licensed attorney whose regular commentary also appears on NewsMediaJournal.us, Michnews, and various internet journals.

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