Celebrities Run Amok!
Posted by papundits on 09/17/2007
O.J. Arrested
LAS VEGAS – Plainclothes officers arrested O.J. Simpson on charges connected with what police described as a robbery at a Las Vegas hotel. A judge ordered Simpson be held without bail, and a court date was set for Thursday.
The seven felonies Simpson was charged with all revolve around the use of firearms, something Simpson strongly denied when asked by reporters as he was being arrested: “Firearms? That’s (expletive) ridiculous, everyone knows I’m a knife man.”
Madonna: “I’m an Ambassador for Judaism”
JERUSALEM – Madonna toasted the Jewish new year with Israeli President Shimon Peres and declared herself an “ambassador for Judaism,” local newspapers reported Sunday.
Madonna met Peres at his official Jerusalem residence on Saturday evening and the two exchanged gifts, with Madonna giving Peres an autographed copy of her book “Sex,” which depicts the singer engaging in numerous sex acts with various men, women, and objects.
In an unrelated story, tens of thousands of Jews have applied for membership in various Christian churches in the the region, resulting in a serious shortage of communion wafers.
Sally Field Censored at Emmy’s
LOS ANGELES – Accepting her Emmy on Sunday night for lead actress in a drama series, Field stumbled halfway through, lost her train of thought, broke wind, screeched at the audience to stop applauding so she could finish talking, and then was bleeped by censors as she stammered through an expletive-filled anti-war rant like a retarded crack addict.
“And, let’s face it, if the mothers ruled the world, there would be no (expletive) wars in the first place,” Field said. Later when asked backstage why there would be no wars if mothers ruled the world, the feisty actress replied, “Because they don’t know how to operate things like machine guns and bombers, you (expletive) moron.”
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