Senate Slumber Party, Free Abortions

Scooter’s Report (Satire)

July 18, 2007

Senate Slumber Party!

In a dramatic all-night session, the Democrat-led Senate debated the upcoming Iraq war troop withdrawal vote, did each other’s hair, made brownies, and played “Truth or Dare.” “We have to get us out of this war” Sen. Joseph Biden (D-Del) said while waxing Harry Reid’s (D-Calif) bikini. At one point during the night, order had to be called when Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and Diane Feinstein (D-Calif) couldn’t stop giggling after drinking too many root beers. Republicans called the session a “pathetic juvenile stunt” but seemed to enjoy themselves, especially when John Kerry (D-Mass) took a knee to the nuts during a spirited game of “Twister” with John McCain (R-Az).

Obama, Edwards Promise Universal Coverage For Abortions

WASHINGTON — Elizabeth Edwards said Tuesday that her husband’s health-care plan would provide insurance coverage for abortion. “It’s every woman’s right to have her unborn child ripped apart and sucked into a bucket, and it’s the privilege of all Americans to pay for it” said the candidate’s wife, a proud mother of three. Edwards joins Barack Obama (D-Ill) in advocating universal health care coverage for abortions. Obama recently said, “The only way to improve the health of Americans, especially the poor, is to actively promote the killing of their unborn children.” Thank God we’ve got a political party watching out for our disadvantaged.

Scooter peace out.

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Tags: Senate, Iraq war, troop withdrawal, Joseph Biden, Harry Reid, Hillary Clinton, Diane Feinstein, John Kerry, John McCain, Republican, Democrat, Abortions, Elizabeth Edwards, Barack Obama, killing unborn children