Hillary, Gore, Hamas
Posted by papundits on 06/18/2007
Scooter’s Report (Satire)
June 18, 2007
Good morning reader peeps.
The news is unusually boring this morning, thanks to Paris Hilton still being out of circulation. Here’s some stuff to get you by:
* The latest USA TODAY/Gallup Poll shows New York Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton has regained a double-digit lead over Illinois Senator Barack Obama. Poll respondents favored Clinton 31% to Obama’s 21% when asked “Which conniving, shrill, old white woman do you favor for President.”
* During a recent interview, world renowned climatologist, Al Gore, recently expressed his frustration at the world’s occasional interest in people/events other than himself, saying, “I’m trying to save the world, and people are reading about Paris Hilton? Without me, you’ll all die, without her, you’ll merely lose your fashion sense. Which is more important?” Good point.
* In Gaza, Hamas militants continue to undermine the established government. Reports of unwashed marauding gangs, screaming socialist political slogans while looting government offices, gave rise to fears that America’s top Democrats had relocated. A search of the top stories on CNN quickly disproved those fears, but not before the U.S. stock market rose over 1000 points.
Scooter peace out.
Reprinted with Permission of the Ultra-Liberal Scooter Van Neuter.
(We believe in Fair and Balanced Reporting, and to be fair to our Liberal Readers we chose the crème de la crème of the Left to represent you.)
Tags: Hillary Rodham Clinton, Barack Obama, Al Gore, climatologist, Paris Hilton, Gaza, Hamas, Democrats, Liberal
